Letters to Nowhere: remember, remember

Monday Noon-time

My brother,

How are you? How is Ninim and the Long-lake? Is the view of the sun setting over the waters still pretty? I miss the summers spent there with you two. When I can swim.

I have a confession. This will come as little surprise to you. You know me well. And always have. I think it surprises me. I know it makes me very sad. But then I forget what is making me sad. And then I remember.

Eirikr, I am scared.

Crossing Weathertop

Something happened on the trip. We went to an achient ancient place but there were Dwarves. They were not nice. I remember one appeared behind me and I remember Falros stabbed him. I remember the feeling of dread when Teiblanc found the place for the Necklace. I cannot remember much that happened after a loud noise. A loud noise and then some pictures in my head. Then Morty was there. I was in my room in Bree and the sun was rising.

Approaching Mithrenost

Monday Evening

It is hard to think sometimes. I got upset and had to stop for a while. I do not remember getting so upset at things.

I think Teiblanc must have left us. She and Torlach did not get along very well. They argued over everything from the start. And Falros does not like Elves. I was shocked to see him at all. He is a good man, Falros. When he killed the Dwarves, he killed them to save me. He was so different than when in a tavern. And not all of it was about his new feeling toward me. I know he used to hunt bandits. But to watch him work. He is a totally different person. He becomes so cold.

I feel bad that Teiblanc was alone against them, Torlach’s meanness and Falros’s coldness. But she left us and I think the loud noise was her falt fault.

Wednesday Morning

Eirikr. Bad things happened. I am starting to remember them but I do not want to. I see things in my sleep. Sometimes I see them when I am awake. I try not to tell others. But I think they know. Something happened at the Pony. I was sitting, conversing with a Man. Fervur. He is from Dale, too! Eruviel came. Torlach came. I started seeing things that were not there: Dwarves, bloody hands, rocks and dirt falling around me. I do not want to see things anymore. But if they are not real how can I make them go away? I think I cried. I cried right there in the tavern. I did not want them to hurt me.

When I stopped seeing things, I was back home. In bed again. I am so tired of bed. The nice man was there and Eruviel was there. They took care of me. We had a picnic. There is a little pond near Eruviel’s house and we sat on the shore. I miss you. We let Fervur stay – he fell asleep on the floor before the fire. He made me smile.

Fervur wraps an arm around either one of them and looks in the water. He points at his reflection. "What's that?" Anyatka leans over to look. "What is what?" Eruviel shakes her head in protest. "I see nothing . . ." Eruviel she is a bad liar. Fervur raises a brow. "Is that a boat? You know, I think boats belong in the water... well if you two painted it." He jumps in the water, pulling them in with him.
Fervur wraps an arm around either one of them and looks in the water. He points at his reflection: “What’s that?”
Anyatka leans over to look. “What is what?”
Eruviel shakes her head in protest. “I see nothing . . .” She is a bad liar.
Fervur raises a brow. “Is that a boat? You know, I think boats belong in the water… well, if you two painted it.” He jumps in the water, pulling them in with him.

But brother, I hope this goes away. I do not know what is wrong with me, but I want to see real things again. I want to know what is going on around me. I do not want to see the past.

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